you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
