you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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