Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
