6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I have aggressive nipples.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize