But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
