After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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