where does the pee come out of this thing
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
