I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
