you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
