Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
