I want to stick my p in your. b.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
