got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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