yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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