it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
