Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
