That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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