you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
