turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My vagina is officially offended.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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