After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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