Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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