last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We're too hungover to prance.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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