he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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