Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
