I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
