I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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