My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
