The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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