I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
