i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
