i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize