Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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