She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
