that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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