Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
