i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
