he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
