it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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