Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
