people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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