I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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