I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
