Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
