Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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