I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
