Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
