And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
