Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
