So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
