On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
