Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
