isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
