doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
