I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
