he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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