Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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