I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
