So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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