sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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