I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
