So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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