So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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