did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize