This girl is more easily done than said...
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
