is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
