Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
