Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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