You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
