So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize