i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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