So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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