My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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