The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
