Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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