You're so nebulous sometimes
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
