is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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