I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
They have beer where we have blood.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize