Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
