Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
