Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
